tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-251487782011-09-05T15:18:16.797-04:00a compendium of ridiculous in the wide world of courtingSaranoreply@blogger.comBlogger2711100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-42690109000569528602009-07-28T17:45:00.002-04:002009-07-28T17:47:36.375-04:00

Saranoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-69123808063685425332009-07-09T22:14:00.002-04:002009-07-09T22:28:05.000-04:00

so, been a while. things going on. i did a brutal honesty thing last night and told a fella to his face i don't want to be romantic with him. should i not have done that in person? should i have played along and then never returned a call or sheepishly sent an email? what is the intergrity-filled course of action?

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-36987149431978552009-03-29T21:41:00.004-04:002009-03-29T21:57:47.868-04:00

i have long hated text messages, a passive form of communication (hmnn, is this that too? could be if anyone i wrote about knew of this blog, i guess). anyway, seems to me why text when a phone call will work? but i see its utility and i do it myself now sometimes.the other evening i was walking about in the rain in the neighborhood of carroll gardens and i got a text that said, 'hi.' the prefix

Saranoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-36751566245274098762009-03-21T10:37:00.001-04:002009-03-21T10:37:29.636-04:00

enough said.

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-83356821690672202082009-02-16T19:52:00.002-05:002009-02-16T20:00:09.816-05:00

so, i am the worst person to answer surveys, especially market research surveys. today some woman called and started asking questions before i realized what was happening. at one point, i wondered if i was even talking to a live person, so i asked. i was. but on and on about nuclear power. it is not an issue i follow. maybe i ought to. she'd read these long statements about a facility in nys and

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-2143711709181409742009-02-09T22:48:00.002-05:002009-02-09T22:56:46.720-05:00

on account of his fast-twitch google reading and he caught me having deleted a post today and i deleted it because i explained i am trying to look inward. hey! i started yoga! i dig it. i dig focusing on a single thing like is my knee aligned with my ankle while i reach heavenward with one arm and try to make sure my back is parallel to the wall.but here's another thing. valentine's day, that's

Saranoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-80588699190955958122009-01-22T22:39:00.003-05:002009-01-22T22:46:13.511-05:00

long time, no blog. that's okay. not much to say. tonight i struck up a conversation with a guy named juan who works as a busboy at a middle eastern joint near my house that i favor. i don't go very frequently because i am trying not to eat out but i got home late, i was hungry, and there is no food in my house. so i got a sandwich to go. i used to go to this joint quite a lot. then i fairly

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-39400829532572317462008-12-17T12:04:00.000-05:002008-12-17T12:28:04.881-05:00

my therapist recently advised me to pay better attention to my dreams, which have always been very detailed and entertaining (except when they have been nightmares, like the one with the fireball thrower dressed in a medieval monk's robe, the tsunami crushing me underwater, the kidnappers of me while i am on a swing in front of a big white victorian). today i remembered just moments ago a dream i

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-10878783697063381722008-12-04T10:56:00.004-05:002008-12-04T11:37:06.697-05:00

well, reader, i texted a guy i met some weeks back and we went out last night. here is a little something i learned: sometimes when you kiss someone and you are a little drunk you think they are an exceptionally good kisser. then when you kiss them again, and you are not drunk, you realize that simply putting your lips on another person's and jostling your head about like you did when you were 7

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-44479043099167070462008-12-02T13:50:00.005-05:002008-12-02T15:54:10.471-05:00

a fella in a bar slipped me a note, it said something like 'you're incredible. call me if it doesn't work out,' at the time i was on a date with someone else.anyway, it didn't work out but i never called that note slipper. i was reminded of it today when i went to get a sandwich for lunch because in line with me was this salt-and-pepper haired gent who lives in my residential 'hood and works in

Saranoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-52920061300313381872008-12-01T19:32:00.004-05:002008-12-01T20:01:28.629-05:00

or jets. see, i was at a hotel overnight on saturday in new jersey for a family function. don't be so curious! doesn't matter what kind of function! jeez!anyway, when we arrived, there were red retractable barriers set up (those kinds of nylon barriers they set up to designate the queue to buy movie tickets, assuming you don't buy them online in advance). and there were some folks waiting behind

Saranoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-67018049773271112922008-11-21T10:04:00.011-05:002008-11-21T14:09:16.802-05:00

last night i went to see an animated documentary about the massacre at sabra and shatila. it feels odd to say that it was amazing, so instead i'll say it was fantastic. the animation explosive. the story--it is something of a documentary, something of a search for memory, so things are not so neatly wrapped. then i met a friend, a documentary film maker, at a singles event in chelsea, a

Saranoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-83834340861840512062008-11-20T12:47:00.010-05:002008-11-20T15:50:32.195-05:00

last night i went to a party. it was crowded. some people had had quite a lot to drink. others don't drink. i was introduced to a gentleman. wait! stop! that's no gentleman! that's my wife!ted, lets call him that, was drunk. he was older, his head was shaved, he was a bit thin, not skinny, but somehow reminded me of a question mark even though he wasn't stooped. ted was swaying as he tried to

Saranoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-65760068536780913292008-11-17T17:20:00.002-05:002008-11-17T17:22:13.857-05:00

prideful. it's different from proud and i like it. terribly evocative.

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-10060899226837715452008-11-17T10:25:00.001-05:002008-11-17T10:27:07.356-05:00

i had a great one.but now it's the week again. i have a queasy feeling about it. to kick it off, i assert another word i don't like:innumerable.i don't know why i don't like it. seems made up. why not just say numerous? i know why, rationally, so don't splain it to me. thank you so very much.

Saranoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-39599233985703316522008-11-14T12:30:00.010-05:002008-11-14T15:13:22.420-05:00

best move i've made all week—bought an ipod dock. this will radically change my music listening habits at home. it pleases me. i am pleased. come over and lets listen. together!wait, you need to know that i love music. i love it. L.O.V.E. i was in a bad mood the other day and happened to hear a song called 'is this love?' and i was transformed. like a caterpillar turning into a butterfly. a life

Saranoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-79462197932149595962008-11-11T13:19:00.006-05:002008-11-11T13:39:12.050-05:00

my great aunt, may her memory be a blessing (and today i am missing her a lot), used an expression once or twice about being a 'grumpy gussie' or maybe it was 'grumpy gus.' i don't remember if she was talking about herself or someone else. but that would be an accurate way to describe myself today. and not just me, i can tell by how everyone around me is acting that there is a collective feeling

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-70285330654823720872008-11-10T09:51:00.004-05:002008-11-10T12:17:35.760-05:00

a friend wore a very nice pair of boots on election night. she said she bought them at varda, an expensive shop (or series of them, maybe) in nyc. most of the shoes there are handmade, i think. about 10 or more years ago i went into varda and fell in love with a pair of women's wingtips. usually in those days women's wingtips were too delicate looking for my taste (i don't really look for them

Saranoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-33818169945937279862008-11-04T15:19:00.007-05:002008-11-04T16:52:41.948-05:00

a certain candidate should win today. i'm not talking about in terms of electoral votes and adding up pa plus nh plus wi plus nc and such. see, i can add, i can subtract, divide and multiply. what i cannot do is calculus. anyway, that is off topic. i don't, praise be, have to take a calculus exam, except perhaps in my recurring stress dream. that said, here's what i'm talking about. this is the

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-11189538528094734182008-11-03T17:03:00.002-05:002008-11-03T17:07:30.140-05:00

http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/sashafrerejones/2008/10/this-election-c.htmlremember that stupid movie with demi moore and rbt redford, something about a night together, a proposal - i never saw it but i remember it, maybe they only had one night to get it on.oh. i'd like one night to get it on with mos def. he is sexy. i heard he lives near me. there have been sightings. an acquaintance of

Saranoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-39653095121317067922008-10-31T16:39:00.002-04:002008-10-31T16:43:49.677-04:00

halloween. spoookyyyyy. scary. cobwebs.gonna dress up tonight. gonna go to a halloween party. a little nervous. going with a friend to a friend's who i've met but she is formidable. last time i saw her, a gazillion yrs ago, she was pregnant, playing pool in overalls. chewing gum that reminds me of gatorgum. remember that stuff. it was a fav. a real fav. so was stimrol. remember that stuff. that

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-44741090649234606842008-10-30T16:20:00.003-04:002008-10-30T17:32:22.356-04:00

why talk of beauty? what could be more beautiful than those heroic happy dead who rushed like lions to the slaughter. they did not stop to think, they died instead. then, shall the voice of liberty be mute?that's all from a poem i once memorized.and i was thinking, on account of my dislike of the 'impacted' about all this talk of socialism and how obama is a socialist and oooohhh - that's so

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-8691653495195107882008-10-30T10:03:00.001-04:002008-10-30T10:08:06.567-04:00

impacted.oh. oh! people say, quite a lot, 'the downturn has impacted people.'i prefer my molars to be impacted (well, not really, but you get the point).it does my heart ill to see such baloney. and such baloney is rampant.

Saranoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-61591478625749879162008-10-29T10:11:00.004-04:002008-10-29T10:29:21.843-04:00

actually, that headline is a lie. this is a post about some things i hate. specifically words. here's one: brethren. it's pompous (is pompous pompous? there must be a term for that, a word that represents what the word means)last night while reading, I came across too many times the word brethren. sometimes writers use the word in jest (another word that rankles sometimes) and sometimes they use

Saranoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-58151541229956151842008-10-14T00:19:00.002-04:002008-10-14T00:25:50.957-04:00

i am currently in the midwest, in wisconsin, and was watching some tv and i saw while watching some political item that sarah palin has had a makeover, wearing her hair down like rachel from friends, wearing high leather boots, generally restyled in haute. and then a campaign ad came on for mccain, and the picture of him in the ad must have been from at least 10 years ago, fewer wrinkles, less

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-618966255547544072008-10-02T17:24:00.006-04:002008-10-02T17:37:16.817-04:00

you know those dixon-ticonderoga pencils that we used to love as school children, but every now and then the green or red eraser would fall out (sometimes they bizarrely seemed to dry up and therefore fall out) and all you'd be left with at the end of the pencil was that circular copper eraser holder? imagine someone took that empty copper holder and tried to bore a hole into the roof of your

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-13893709352469835832008-09-24T17:11:00.001-04:002008-09-24T17:11:23.709-04:00

to call him a pussy for trying not to debate is to denigrate pussy.

Saranoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-61429019867470913952008-09-18T16:14:00.002-04:002008-09-18T16:23:55.435-04:00

on the down low i blog. on the down low because there are other things i should do: find someone to fall in love with; read a stack of books; clean my ears; urinate; knit; take atavan; hate on our politicians; masturbate; cook; bake; seek; think; mediate; meditate; run; feed swans; feed myself.some of those are truer than others. i was in new orleans last weekend for a big birthday celebration of

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-75425267344562606792008-09-02T12:25:00.003-04:002008-09-02T12:33:58.221-04:00

i know a little boy, he is six. he is charming. he is not at all ticklish. i have tried to tickle him on his feet, under his arms, on the back of his neck, on his belly, of course. he doesn't laugh. he doesn't even grin. he told me he trained himself not to laugh. he trained himself not even to grin.i told a little girl about the little boy. she is four. she was incredulous. she wants to have at

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-69086301778800148272008-08-07T16:17:00.004-04:002008-08-07T17:17:52.624-04:00

on the subway today i was reading about a guy who is an imposter, pretends to be a teenager. i was distracted by the nearly-compulsive blackberrying of a woman next to me. she has spent too much time in the sun, her skin was too dark and dry and her ponytail kept grazing my shoulder (one of my subway tics, i cannot stand people's hair touching my bare arms, it seems so dirty). she had bright red

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-35291716651114216332008-06-20T14:41:00.004-04:002008-06-20T14:43:55.158-04:00

i went on a trip and wrote about it here.

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-70274091392539662252008-05-05T22:35:00.011-04:002008-05-06T11:48:25.296-04:00

well, i went on a date tonight. it was a long time coming insofar as the fellow and i had spoken seems like weeks ago but time and again he cancelled or postponed. i had inklings of doubt; he is into teepees and sweat lodges. i am openminded but had a hunch two roads would diverge in a wood and one would reach proper bathroom facilities and the other would only reach a porto-pot.so we met and he

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-83625838489428727162008-05-03T18:15:00.007-04:002008-05-04T22:05:43.947-04:00

i ran a half marathon this morning. i ran faster than i expected, which was thrilling, and the last mile i was tired, my feet a bit blistered, all i wanted ws the thing to be through and so ran harder than i had the whole way. and it was great and fun and exhilirating, and since then i went to a birthday party and had wine and beer and a cupcake and...and...and so i boast herewith to the ether!

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-56421942067685008322008-05-01T10:35:00.005-04:002008-05-01T13:13:06.133-04:00

i been 'training,' see, for a 13 mile run, coming up saturday morning. that means i've been running a lot. so much that some of my toes are black and blue. but that's okay. they don't hurt, they just look unpristine. i feel in good shape, clothes are fitting differently, and such. and then, twice this week, ladies on the subway have offered me seats. because, you see, they think i am pregnant. i

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-19459021627264894202008-04-30T17:24:00.001-04:002008-04-30T17:26:08.575-04:00

i feel it right now.

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-82786018498106396902008-04-27T10:56:00.016-04:002008-04-27T13:13:57.885-04:00

moons ago i fooled around with a local rock and roll star. we had some things in common; both our fathers are profs of philosophy, for instance. if there were other commonalities i now forget them. he was articulate and earnest and signed his emails'bestest'after we dressed he mussed his hair just so to make certain his bangs hung in his eyes just so.i was briefly smitten—it happens sometimes. (i

Saranoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-74913842511714292472008-04-26T19:49:00.002-04:002008-04-26T19:54:36.485-04:00

my friend just told me a story about the woman who works for her as a babysitter. the babysitter broke up with her boyfriend finally and at long last because 'she is too good for him.' but that's not actually why she cut him off, it is not a straw that breaks even a mouse's back.it is that one night he 'pocket dialed' her.i have never heard that term. have you?my friend explained it's when your

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-28861994807588465942008-04-25T17:16:00.006-04:002008-04-25T17:34:14.205-04:00

this is a story//it's a little thingthe above link is a republication of a letter a friend of mine who inter-dates (just came up with that neologism, pretty clever, huh?) got from a fella she was supposed to meet last week.he gets an A for vitriol.non sequiter:was in the shower this morning. my thoughts roam there and i wondered:do you love another in spite of their flaws/quirks or because of

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-56442684176379718322008-04-22T15:03:00.003-04:002008-04-22T15:15:20.236-04:00

my mother asked me what crabs are. i told her, "an std."she said, "i've heard of the clap. i've never heard of crabs. what are they exactly? it's not syphillis, is it?"i told her, "not syphillis. crabs are critters, sexually transmitted critters. like lice. or gnats"don't even know if i'm exactly right. but she seemed satisfied. it came up in a novel she is reading on my say so.tra la. tra la.

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-673305035729955132008-04-17T23:21:00.010-04:002008-04-18T15:21:31.388-04:00

sometimes you think something's over...like a movie...and then there are credits and then a few extra couple of scenes. yipee! or, you think you've eaten all the wonderfully salty, meaty green cerignola olives only to open the fridge and realize that you'd forgotten that since you love them so much, you bought a double share last time you shopped and there is the second batch, waiting for your

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-56308902514455471182008-03-30T09:18:00.001-04:002008-03-30T09:20:11.342-04:00

this blog is two years old. that might be old enough.

Saranoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-85247037180241350362008-03-28T14:58:00.006-04:002008-03-28T15:18:02.101-04:00

my mother prides herself on her knowledge of geography. i do not; one of the ways in which i do not take after her. nevertheless i sally forth in this world knowing not exactly where monaco is on a map but that it is. that is sometimes enough. until now. for you see, i was thinking on the way back from an errand and picking up some lunch about a post some days back wherein someone had likened

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-43872492347908101532008-03-27T14:31:00.005-04:002008-03-28T10:22:38.447-04:00

take a bite out of the big apple. don't mind the maggots.last night after a drink with a former work colleague/pal who works for a few months and then goes off to live for a few months in places like guatemala and india and wyoming, i went home and decided to watch last tango in paris. i got a dvd of it, see, because everyone says what a classic it is, and hey, i like classics.anyhoo, my first

Saranoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-4761017639653728832008-03-26T16:28:00.005-04:002008-03-26T17:07:55.203-04:00

on the way to the aeroport this morning, we passed 'hooker street' followed, a couple of blocks later, by 'cherry avenue.' if sex is on the mind (and is it ever at a total remove?), you can always find yourself a double entendre.oh! i had the oddest idea this morning as i woke and stretched. i meant to tell one particular friend about it because i thought he'd find it amusing. but i forgot to

Saranoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-80249120965055884032008-03-25T14:53:00.004-04:002008-03-25T15:03:12.380-04:00

that's where i be right now, in the 'business center' of a hotel downtown. i got here after a short flight but hours of wakefulness on account of insomnia at 3 am, so it feels like i did an overseas flight, and arrived very hungry and went and got some lunch and walked down the deluxe avenue which is exactly like the deluxe avenues in nyc or washington or l.a.there is something extraordinarily

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-81590538289551484372008-03-24T22:26:00.002-04:002008-03-24T22:30:35.141-04:00

i was walking tonight down 59th street on the east side, not far from the plaza hotel and the apple store, with an out of town visitor and we passed a young woman on her cell phone who said'now i can feel you rubbing my nipple'cannot imagine it was phone sex; seemed more like she was recounting her own earlier conversation.now your turn.

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-81011454668618833002008-03-21T17:59:00.008-04:002008-03-21T18:09:22.350-04:00

last night i ran into a chum from elementary school. that means i haven't seen this fella in about 25+ yrs (yikes). i recognized him immediately, not just the face, but his gait, boxy, stiff and brisk.anyway, he is still in touch with my fourth grade boyfriend, a nice guy with three older brothers, who loved baseball and once made a ring for me out of a pipecleaner. i think it was supposed to be

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-81900509119440601092008-03-20T10:09:00.010-04:002008-03-20T11:50:56.934-04:00

last night i saw two friends i hadn't seen in some time. one of them is like a character out of 'his girl friday.' she talks about 100 miles an hour (and i am too a fast talker but not like her), the other is an artist. anyways, the fast talker asked me about another mutual friend, a fellow who got a phd in history and speaks spanish and italian and portuguese and now works...well, that's the

Saranoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-19552971630023841702008-03-19T17:58:00.004-04:002008-03-19T18:00:37.879-04:00

i must recommend the personals in the london review of books. they are the most entertainment i've had in the past three minutes.here's one'sexually, i'm more of a switzerland.'if craigslist was like this...the world would be wholly different (and by different i think i mean better).

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-85197153095736417412008-03-19T06:27:00.002-04:002008-03-19T06:33:15.344-04:00

have you ever kissed someone so much after a long time of lip solitude that your lips are very raw? once a guy i was messing around with needed to use some of my chapstick (this was in the days that i preferred cherry chapstick) before he went home and then i bought him some as a little gift the next time i saw him (maybe i didn't, but i know i meant to. memory is funny; see earlier post). but

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-48806971790431636832008-03-18T15:08:00.003-04:002008-03-18T16:09:57.707-04:00

today is the second day in a row i am having occasional headrushes. dizziness. is it because of the anchovy-egg-lemon-olive oil sandwich i just ate at my great aunt's house. ought i have eate something less extreme?she is 101.5 yrs old. one day, recently, she thanked me for spending time with my 'alte tante.' she doesn't have to thank me for it. it is really my pleasure. she is getting forgetful.

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-90841141822886903372008-03-16T21:49:00.004-04:002008-03-16T21:59:30.288-04:00

one of my friends in washigton, on whose couch i slept, suggested that my dreams are too vivid and perhaps they exhaust me or maybe she asked if they do exhaust me. each morning when i woke up (i'm not a person who has trouble waking up and being full of chatter start off) i told her exactly what i dreamed of. the first night wasn't so upsetting (inadvertent shoplifting, absolute promise and

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-26286625295187255822008-03-15T16:48:00.002-04:002008-03-15T16:56:45.608-04:00

my friend k is leaving washington, the capitol city, next week on account of her job was getting her way down and time was afoot to change her lifestyle and have adventure and so she is about to embark on that and i am here in the capitol, warm as it is, some blooms on trees, to wish her bon voyage on the journeys and also mazel tov on the jump. and so, last night, when i walked from the metro to

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-41131040259930415012008-03-12T21:14:00.005-04:002008-03-12T21:39:32.811-04:00

i had a whole three paragraphs written and just deleted them all. suffice it to say--i have been insulted this evening. but i will get over it. my skin is thin but not so thin that it's like tissue paper. that comes later. after 100 years of age.

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-11367606330304211642008-03-11T17:26:00.004-04:002008-03-11T17:45:51.605-04:00

i have a recurring setting for a dream, which appeared again last night. the setting is a brief spit of land, on the one side of which is a still lagoon. on the other side there is open, rollicking, deep ocean. sometimes the ocean rises up, on this stretch, and then slams down on me, drowns me. other times, it's an idyll. sometimes there are tall trees all around, like the sea appears suddenly in

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-43320427981830105692008-03-10T16:09:00.005-04:002008-03-10T16:45:39.279-04:00

the last time i was in israel was after college and lived there for a while, working a couple of often dull jobs but with kindly folks around who looked after me and tried to convince me to stay.one of those peoples was a guy my age, a modern orthodox fellow, whom i had first met about 10 years earlier in 8th grade when i lived there in eighth grade. you could say he was my eighth grade boyfriend

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-40439947868052189192008-03-10T14:51:00.004-04:002008-03-10T15:11:31.884-04:00

d'ja hear...guv'nor has been consorting with call girls. call women, really, i do hope they are not underage also. sheesh.

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-20856629342007872472008-03-10T09:57:00.006-04:002008-03-10T11:14:54.110-04:00

yesterday i went to see macbeth. was going to go with my sis but she had to go to a funeral so i asked my good pal, a-l, who is an outstanding knitter, a devoted gardener, an excellent friend. before it started a-l and i were chatting about it and mentioned the lead actor, patrick stewart, and this couple two rows ahead turned around and started chatting with us, asked if we are star trek fans,

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-38142201768158689412008-03-05T21:30:00.002-05:002008-03-05T21:40:32.605-05:00

so bush endorses mccain today and they do the usual slap-on-the-back-i've-always-loved-ya and we-gotta-beat-dem-dems bullshit. and then i read about medvedev and putin, and aside from the deep purple crap (that should have been warning enough; i have a picture taken with deep purple's third lead singer), it seems not entirely inconceivable to me that mccain would tap bush to be in his cabinet or

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-71576245762108466582008-03-03T12:05:00.007-05:002008-03-03T12:20:47.624-05:00

a tv producer fellow told me a while back that he loves mystery books. he was incredulous that i don't. in fact, i said, i couldn't remember the last time i read one—maybe some nancy drew thing when i was a kid. well, two things have jogged my (failing) memory: a story about richard price and a story about harriet the spy. i read clockers and liked it, though what i remember most is that the hero

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-34306904666055345002008-03-02T10:56:00.004-05:002008-03-02T11:38:37.072-05:00

had an odd conversation yesterday with a man who said 'i think you know that i like you.' always nice to hear that affirmation. but he also asked me when i was last tested for HIV, and i told him, but isn't that an odd thing to ask someone you have gone out with only one time and that time was chaste? maybe it's not, maybe i've just only ever been in situations where really people don't bring it

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-52771599394520821392008-03-01T11:40:00.003-05:002008-03-01T11:42:39.444-05:00

the song 'Supernatural' by Nick Cave. listen to it. i hope you will love it as i do.

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-24852771412289798972008-03-01T08:08:00.005-05:002008-03-01T08:26:00.009-05:00

that is true but is also a song lyric yet i don't remember from what (i think it might be a pete seeger thing or someone of that ilk, it's definitely an antiwar song because later there's something about 'put an end to war'.)my dream: i was on the first day of a new job on some kind of radio show, a news show, and there were two women there who were in charge though it was unclear if they had

Saranoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-6802556529332166372008-02-29T10:18:00.008-05:002008-02-29T11:30:01.026-05:00

for some reason that headline struck me briefly this morning, as i carried a load of laundry to drop off, as funny. now it doesn't seem so very. and, why write this anyway and who reads it anyway. procrastination is an answer to question one.jesus christ almighty!that's what my mother or maybe it was my father used to exclaim when they were hot-red mad, sometimes at each other for: not making

Saranoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-29172750878946327332008-02-29T08:19:00.002-05:002008-02-29T10:03:59.558-05:00

leap day stinks and i'm not yet showered. with a saving grace—the blue sky is encouraging.

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-24434843208040202042008-02-28T14:55:00.002-05:002008-02-28T14:59:00.212-05:00

on the edge of your seat wanting to know the second fortune? if you are, you need some other hobbies. also, of course, if you're reading this, the order in which i post and the order in which you read are reversed chronologically so really there's no cliffhanger. that said, it readYou are given the chance to take part in an exciting adventure.which does excite me. and is much better than that

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-66876853571383469842008-02-28T14:33:00.002-05:002008-02-28T14:50:07.307-05:00

i woke up this morning a little bit fuzzy on account of drink. not such a terrible fog that i couldn't go to the gym and sweat and felt better. nonetheless that persistent hangover induced bacon hunger has been addling me all day. but i have sworn off temporarily bacon and other pork products unless i'm at someone's house and that's what they serve or in case i decide the swearing off is

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-48080448134883853362008-02-28T09:59:00.002-05:002008-02-28T10:01:27.217-05:00

leap year, or leap day, more precisely. feels like very special things should happen or be eaten or said. giddy like halloween or new years eve, or a birthday, in spite of (my) efforts to dismiss them as just another day.

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-41071164756866502552008-02-27T18:19:00.009-05:002008-02-27T18:44:40.357-05:00

went to the eye doc today (sounds like an apple product) and they dilated my eyes and now i can't see so well. but it's coming back, slowly slow, so meantime i sit in a dark office with sunglasses on and typing. also, dual purpose herewith as i'm killing time. die!dithering here and there, i feel honestly, truthfully that i oughtn't write about people for good or ill anymore. keep the karma close

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-31342553071432087552008-02-13T17:58:00.002-05:002008-02-13T18:00:09.212-05:00

at some level my super wants to 'save' me in the very christian, baptismal sense. it's a hunch growing into full, erect posture.

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-51314870491401078912008-02-11T22:46:00.001-05:002008-02-12T21:54:36.494-05:00

that time of year again, right: romance, red window dressings, chocolate, kisses, arm tugs. on the subway yesterday was a young couple really earnestly gazing into each others' eyes, so besotted, but so self conscious about their mutual adoration. i was trying to read but this was so much more entertaining. in between kisses on the mouth, they would trade kisses on the cheek, high up near the ear

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-445172252168504412008-01-22T22:17:00.000-05:002008-01-22T22:27:01.184-05:00

i had one tonight, but not the 'you and jimmy neck in the front seat, me and bobby'll pet in the back' kind. rather, i had a date with a jdate fellow, short fingers (freaks me out, what can i say) a little agitated, but nice enough. and yet.the date was done in 50 minutes flat. and as i left i got out the ole cellie and rang up my super super who was s'posed to fix something in the apt yesterday

Saranoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-15692801624164539262008-01-13T20:55:00.000-05:002008-01-13T20:56:32.922-05:00

i joined a dating site. again. so far. so good. i'm hopeful. big year ahead. but now time to watch the wire.

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-87197887041186563172008-01-13T20:54:00.000-05:002008-01-13T20:55:24.481-05:00

i went to baskin '31' robbins with two nephews who stayed for the wkend (made them pancakes and one, so dang sweet, said, 'my compliments to the chef') and they didn't have 31 flavors. they had exactly 3. is there some kind of maori wisdom in that?

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-10634951801357854932008-01-13T17:39:00.000-05:002008-01-13T17:40:18.049-05:00

when does one stop being a bachelorette and start being a spinster?

Saranoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-30074538313578792512007-12-17T17:15:00.000-05:002007-12-17T17:22:48.919-05:00

walking home from jury duty i realized this is the week where we have the years shortest spans of daylight. as of FRIDAY the days get longer again! yahoozeY!there's not much to report romance wise, except that i was in the most aphrodisiacal aisle (coffee accoutrements) in the most aphrodisiacal store (target) on saturday evening before going to a mini alt high school reunion. and i was looking

Saranoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-87622129619503239182007-12-05T13:56:00.000-05:002007-12-06T14:38:01.965-05:00

so much, so little has happened since my last post. so big, so small the details of my life. imagine, if you willst whilst you read this text, that it's in a white type set amid the backdrop image of a ocean horizon at dusk, pinks, purples and blues aswirl above. maybe it's a hallmark image, maybe it's the cheesy image i've selected as the screen saver on my work computer (it's not, actually,

Saranoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-59109424635937889502007-11-19T22:11:00.000-05:002007-11-19T22:21:23.965-05:00

super called saturday morning, i was out for a run/jog, with a pal. and leaves a very long and sweet apologetic msg and tells me to call him back. and i don't because, really, what's the point of all this phone chat nonsense. either we go out or we don't but i can't take all the processing and advance work for it. oh, and in the message he calls me 'baby' which i find off putting because we

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-37977062010379118052007-11-16T19:50:00.000-05:002007-11-16T19:52:44.454-05:00

i was supposed to have a goddamn date tonight. well, it's only now become a goddamn date because here it is, 8 in the evening, and no plan is afoot. with my (no longer quite so) super super. we postponed last time on account of the sniffles (mine) and work (his). but tonight? who knows. i called. he told me to call later. i did. nothing. and gosh darn but do i want to do something tonight.argh.

Saranoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-80468300568510309832007-11-06T19:29:00.000-05:002007-11-07T12:54:24.898-05:00

everything's changing—i lost my lucky penny. i don't know when, i think this morning, but i only noticed it 45 minutes ago at a pizzeria where i ate in hopes of alleviating the chronic sense of queasy i've had going on near a week. and i'm not in a family way, dunno what it's about. thought maybe hunger. but now i'm just full and without my lucky penny.and meantime i got this sense of unease.

Saranoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-22929575603864705212007-11-02T10:12:00.000-04:002007-11-02T10:18:49.813-04:00

saw my super super on my way out this morning, he was at my house to do something or other. i waved hello, since he was on the phone, but am a wee dressed up, even put 'ladies. [pause] mascara' on my eyes (who can name that quote? i know at least one of you can.) then on the subway, well i got on the wrong damn train, and was sitting in a corner seat and this guy across the aisle - that is, we

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-81554648104341299892007-11-01T14:55:00.001-04:002007-11-01T14:56:34.757-04:00

j's getting over malaria. (stop going to liberia already for pete's sake! and mine too!) while yrs truly's got agita. bad. everything is making me want to run and scream. everything. i need change. i wish i knew how to make that math change symbol. i would. even that would help.

Saranoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-22050330921547287002007-10-26T13:14:00.000-04:002007-10-26T13:27:21.497-04:00

my super super called me last night. idle chit chat. then he tells me i must see the floors he refinished in the apartment below.'are they nice?' i ask.'they are beautiful,' he says, 'just like you, slush.'now that's a nice thing to hear after what he said the other day. and then he made a date with me. which i am mixed about going on, cause he's my super and what if there's a problem, i mean in

Saranoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-64876834292125327072007-10-25T17:24:00.000-04:002007-10-25T17:36:18.130-04:00

as my friend a knows, i'm all about second, third, one-hundredth chances. and so. and so—while i promised myself not to text mr albania 2007 since he seemed to be making little to no overture in my direction, well, i couldn't help myself. so i texted him last week. and nothing. i've been rejected. a feeling amplified by my super-cute super who observed, 'slush, have you put on weight?' i

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-46067813811689120322007-10-18T12:08:00.000-04:002007-10-18T12:22:23.877-04:00

on the advice of an advisor i am putting out a request for proposals, so to speak.i am telling everyone i know (and you too) that i want to meet someone and fall in love with him. i am telling you because you might well be able to help me. you know someone, i know you do, to set me up with. you might think it would not be a good match, but you never know if that water cooler fixer would laugh at

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-88558074231722229852007-10-16T14:40:00.000-04:002007-10-16T14:48:18.618-04:00

today i learned the exact etymology of that 'spression, long in the tooth, from my dentist whose name sounds like it comes straight from the encyclopedia of doctor seuss. the dentist was cleaning my teeth, see, and he said they were soooo clean, he said they were sooo clean that he stopped cleaning to ask me exactly what i do to them (it's funny, cause i think they're a little yellow, but i guess

Saranoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-72234599226757342102007-10-09T17:45:00.000-04:002007-10-09T18:03:39.571-04:00

ever been so tired everything you eat tastes a little like unpastuerized cheese? me neither. until today. i woke predawn, jetlagged still, and decided, among my breakfast to have some cheese i bought the other day and it's made everything today—fruit-flavored mentos included!—taste vaguely sour milky.which is: unpleasant.how i long for a piece of mouthwatering gator gum in all its neon glory.had

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-75569515553153516302007-10-08T17:12:00.000-04:002007-10-08T17:50:25.922-04:00

bookends to my trip a la russe: arriving after 30 hrs travel at 1 am in st pete's, the guy who's sposed to meet me ain't there. i stoopid american girl. speak no russian. read no russian. taxi driver wants to take me for a ride. 'we go to econo hotel' and all i think is this is how people get into trouble. do i trust? have i choice? i go. it's fine. much relief. and sleep.way home: on aeroflot (

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-47891164889736647032007-09-22T22:00:00.000-04:002007-09-22T22:10:30.164-04:00

just remembered a phrase, details of provenance escape me, but an older fella—as i write i recall just what: was in colorado for a wedding, years ago, driving to the san de cristo or sang cristo mountains (going to a town called crestone) and we stopped in co springs or boulder or something and there was a cowboy in a shop, asked us where we were from, my friends and i and we answered our various

Saranoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-27394503206682597122007-09-19T17:31:00.000-04:002007-09-19T17:57:22.474-04:00

been getting up every day before dawn to exercise and then to work and then after work more work, freelance work, and right now on this here wed-nes-day i feel like i'm about to crash out, flat out, as if jetlagged and in a daze and hungry and that autumn malaise is tickling the bottom of my intestine.and listening right now to the song 'upward over the mountain' which i think at this very moment

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-59245814162692725252007-09-17T17:02:00.000-04:002007-09-17T17:14:54.867-04:00

i have a temporary 'birthmark' on my neck. it's a 'birthmark' aka euphemism because some of my half-dozen readers are prurient, especially the one in the middle west, but what is nice is how nobody on the east has said anything about it, i mean assuming they notice. i sure do appreciate that cause it's embarrassing. my albanian friend is responsible. also, he might me muslim; i mean, i asked, he

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-44425292260035529312007-09-10T14:53:00.000-04:002007-09-10T15:41:30.768-04:00

britney spears is basically a lowrent striptease. i know—that's stating obvious, the. what if every sentence i move words around in? would that you confuse? just watched a video of her live performance and it's like watching me in karaoke, except i don't writhe live.reminds me of a bachelor party i went to where a male stripper was hired (this was yrs ago, women who were not good friends of mine;

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-1225122324277812192007-09-07T12:52:00.000-04:002007-09-07T13:16:56.949-04:00

this is not a love song.two words: fred thompsonanother two: quebec cityit's looking finer by the second.

Saranoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-41121414717959596612007-09-06T05:15:00.000-04:002007-09-06T05:18:08.655-04:00

insomnia. tonight. woke up at around a quarter past four, here it is almost half past five, and i'm wildly awake waiting for the moment i can go out and have a run. a little nervous because of work, because of buyers remorse (didn't buy anything but remorse on other accounts), remembering that sometimes i am misanthropic and regretting some silly interactions of the past few days which i wish i

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-56297451693042585862007-09-04T17:38:00.000-04:002007-09-04T17:48:14.723-04:00

well, i'm going to russia in a few weeks...on a vacation of sorts. but it's already making me kinda panicked at the disco because i got a free ticket because over the yrs i spend so much money with credit cards and that's great, except i wanted to make a change and have done so and without getting too detailed because mundane details of what a person eats or how a person travels are mundane and

Saranoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-68828461548847427452007-08-30T16:35:00.000-04:002007-08-31T10:21:30.826-04:00

haven't i always said it's my philosophy to have four crushes at all time? ALL TIMES! well, i have, see, and i try, oh how i try, to live up to that. makes life much more interesting.then, sheer moments ago, perusing a book catalog i see some cindy-come-lately has a book coming out called: the four man plan. crap-ass ad copy reads, 'a hilarious, high-concept dating manual that boils romantic

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-64325915601374016912007-08-29T21:49:00.001-04:002007-08-29T21:53:59.826-04:00

well, my date last night was very fine. it was sorta romantic, very fun, swapping kisses on the cheek (is that spelled right, it looks so weird). other things ensued. i don't get how a waiter comes to own a couple of motorcycles and a mercedes. for now i don't really care. cause i got driven home in a benz and that's better than the damn q train.

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-80645092557557451032007-08-28T18:30:00.001-04:002007-08-28T18:54:47.892-04:00

was talking to a pal about yentl, yo.weird days these. the waiter from the restaurant called and we are going out for a drink. to-nite! i mean, if he calls again to tell me he's arrived in my 'hood.and then i also wrote an email of some import but to tell youse about it would be to diminish it.and then i was talking to a pal and looking at 'missed connections' on cl and found this most

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-11078604867438497902007-08-21T16:42:00.000-04:002007-08-22T10:41:55.030-04:00

my friend c says i have a thing about ethan hawke, that i protest too much in my dislike, that in fact i am obsessed. he might be on to something that even i cannot admit.at the gym i watched the interview with monseiur hawke on some early morning bullshit. i couldn't hear the interview. i could only read the closed caption. thus i learned hawke's fav band is wilko, headed by geoff tweety.but he

Saranoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25148778.post-23307533935885879272007-08-20T17:42:00.000-04:002007-08-20T23:03:06.353-04:00

quand j'ecris maintenant dans ce programme, les mots sont en francais!suddenly blogger's in french today—all the directions and buttons talk to me in french. it's warped. which goes along with something that happened on the wkend. i went to buy a spatula on account i ruined all my non-stick pans with metal utensils and my brother told me metal utensils are bad for non-stick and now i'm eating all

Saranoreply@blogger.com1