they might be giants

or jets. see, i was at a hotel overnight on saturday in new jersey for a family function. don't be so curious! doesn't matter what kind of function! jeez!

anyway, when we arrived, there were red retractable barriers set up (those kinds of nylon barriers they set up to designate the queue to buy movie tickets, assuming you don't buy them online in advance). and there were some folks waiting behind the barrier. we asked if they were waiting for people in particular. they said yes, the jets football team, whose members were staying in the hotel on the night before a game so that, i suppose, they don't stay up late at home watching stupid television or playing monopoly or drinking beers at a strip club.

for the family function we had to dress up. i bought a real purty red dress that i want to wear again. it is a bit sexy, imho. do you know what that means? imho. anyway, high heels, lipstick, the whole shebang. what if a jet were to see me and falls in love? right there in a hotel in jersey? with me? i saw some jets waiting by the elevator. but they paid me no mind. or maybe they fell in love from afar and were too shy to say so. it could happen, imho.

i was debating texting a fella tonight who i met a couple of weeks ago in a bar. he is from another country and has been in this here one for 8 years or maybe it's fewer but not a lot fewer. he kept saying rather raunchy things over and over, as if he'd read an english language phrase book about things to say to a gal if you are trying to get her to get, in the words of the deejay from the singles event noted in the previous post, 'freaky.'

because this is a family joint, i won't tell exactly what he said. instead, like how 'freakin' comes to replace a certain curse in adjectival form, or 'sugar' replaces another curse (but really, does it? ever? and is it believable even a little?) i will sub in other words for what he said.

over and over he said in my ear:

i really want to tie your shoes. (it does lose something in translation, i think, right?)

i want to tie your shoes. oh, i want to tie your shoes.

but again. and again. until i was laughing because it seemed like he had memorized those dirty lines. i think he was a little flummoxed as to why i was laughing. well, i wasn't exactly laughing, more like a chuckle here or there. a giggle. and my giggle is my wiggle. sometimes, imho.

also, he wanted me to go to webster hall with him, kept repeating it like a mantra, and could not for the life of him understand why that did not appeal. for those of you who don't know, webster hall is a club which, i would guess, plays thumping techno music way too loud. i would guess they sell a lot of mixed fruity drinks or long island ice teas. also that most of the women there have silicone nails. i have been there for special events--a reading, a concert, but a typical club night ain't my thang thang.

anyway, i said i'd call him. and i did several days later. when we chatted, he didn't use the 'tie my shoes' phrase but his intonation of what he did say was the same, virutally affectless, memorized from a phrase book and i rather could not imagine suddenly actually ever seeing him again. what could we talk about? oh, he guessed i was 26. that was sweet. and he had some skills that don't involve conversational know how. so the question remains unanswered and well may remain that way as tonight i am supposed to be working, imho.