mass exodus

delete. delete. delete.

all those 'i'll give you a call this week' and 'yes, so great to hang out the other night' notes in my email. why i kept them even this long, i don't know, maybe as a kind of talisman or good luck charm. is that the same thing? anyway, i'm discouraged today. honestly makes me feel like i'm inherently unlovable, which i know is not true. or at least i hope it's not true.

people are so indirect, that's what annoys me a little. don't say 'i'll call you' and then fail to, and don't even be ambiguous or passive by not saying anything. i know the adage is 'if you can't say something nice, don't say a thing at all' but right now the adage i want is if i say, 'hey it was nice to meet you, let's get a drink next week or sometime else' you say 'no thanks, great meeting you too, but i'll let you work your charms elsewhere' instead of silence or avoidance. it's not that i don't get the drift, i get it fine, but people should have to be direct, they should have to say things that are awkward sometimes and hard to say. why? i don't know but it's what i think today. this afternoon.

more cojones for everyone!