watch 'n gape

got to confess, i'm a little bit of a voyeur. and have become briefly engrossed by craigslist casual encounters. i have not met anyone that way nor do i intend to [though there's one poster who wants to give a deep massage and for several weeks my mid-lower-right-hand side of back has been achey and there is a massage temptation growing in strength, but i think i'll see a pro instead, and not that kind of pro, scuzzies!)

there's the one ad by a girl who was raped and now gets turned on, apparently, by having phone conversations in which she answers detailed questions about the assault. i don't want to judge, really i don't, and i totally stand (at least in-ta-leck-shu-a-lee) by the whatever floats your boat school of thought (that's the one whose offices are near the lago, affiliated with the chicago school) and don't want to label any things as 'deviant' or suchlike but honestly, i want to write to that girl and suggest also maybe counseling. cause isn't there something a wee disturbing about reliving the assault. or maybe it's therapeutic. how should i know? (shout out to whitney, pre-crack edition!)

also, the wannabe porn star element is outta sight.

check it: you're in the heat of the moment with some dude or lady and just when things are getting hot down thar (props to my boy chingy!) you capture it on film (or, more likely, digital, cause i wonder how many bbws (i don't even know what that means) or well hung thugs (i am quoting, believe me) got their pentax-k1000s all cocked?). and to the fellas (props to mike d!): do the ladies down whose throats you thrust know that you're posting their pictures for all of us to see like some samizdat, mimeographed porno rag?

does the playa know what a samizdat, mimeographed porno rag is?

i'm sure mos def does. holla!

and yet i cannot look away (well, not right now, but in the privacy of my home with the curtains drawn, then i cannot, even though they're not really curtains as much as they are wicker blinds that let too much light in). so many shapes, sizes, colors, come-ons. so many requests to cuddle or smoke 420 or do it until you can't walk no more (again, i quote, but with the insertion of euphemism).

most of the ads are samo samo, that's no surprise, but is oddly compelling. then, there's the case of a mid-40s y.o lady who has yet to lose her virginity and wants help with that. or the 19 yo skinny rock boy in a similar sich (i think 19 is not so very old in these matters, but i was not brit brit as a teen nor was i my biology labpartner in 9th grade who wore a pin that read 'i'm not easy but we can discuss it'). or the horny married lady/man whose partner isn't down with golden showers or spanking or threesomes.

are all these needs getting met? the fantasy the ads presents is much more tantalizing than the reality, i got a hunch. cause if you or i were to say, yeah, mr mister, come over, you'd get a guy with maybe bad breath or an unfortunate ear pierce or wearing tube socks in his work shoes (big mistake, yo!) and you or i'd be hardpressed then to get jiggy with it.