there it goes

everything's changing—i lost my lucky penny. i don't know when, i think this morning, but i only noticed it 45 minutes ago at a pizzeria where i ate in hopes of alleviating the chronic sense of queasy i've had going on near a week. and i'm not in a family way, dunno what it's about. thought maybe hunger. but now i'm just full and without my lucky penny.

and meantime i got this sense of unease. work hanging over me. tick ticking tocking feelings. my super super's in the building right now. working on another apartment. oh but those floors must be polished now! every morning i see him, workng in another apartment, and he makes no mention of our date. oh, yes, we're having a date coming up. or maybe we're not after all. since no mention. would i care? it's the only game i got going this week. and it's not much of one, neither, kind of like jacks not chess. and i keep checking my damn cell phone like some high school kid, hoping for a text msg from mister albania 2007. one day he wrote and said something like 'i have to work 15 more minutes. i will live.' and i replied, 'of course you will!' thinking, erroneously, that he was inconsolable about that quarter hour. a long time when you know after it you're gonna see moi! but it was a typo, or is it fairly called a typo if you don't know how to spell? anyway, i don't think he's a good speller, but it's not his fault, he's from another place where they don't speak english so good. (and i don't know geography so good neither, he's actually from kosovo, not albania). i'd lick him in scrabble, for shizz. but i think he lost the crown, the mister albania 2007 crown, some kind of scandal, mishap, public drinking at an underage forum, and now mister trump has sent him to rehab. you see what's going on? winehouse does.

i saw a guy on the subway with a real live pompadour. and this was no grown up. this was a kid, maybe 20, awful cute. reminded me of johnny suede. when the special needs teacher or whatever love interest character says to him, 'i love you' and he knows no better than to say, 'thank you.'