and then there's maude

tantalizing. advertising.

my friend j just suggested contributors talk about the little jabs they land. right on. here's one:

the setting: college dorm hallway (dim lights, ugly carpet, white messageboards on doors)

the time: sunday evening, before dinner

the scenario: the kid (who remembers his name? did i ever know it?) approaches me and says, 'hey, maybe we could get lunch some time this week?' i reply, 'um, well, i'm busy all week.' to me, mild. but every meal spoken for, pals said, was plain mean.

you say woolery, i say foolery

a friend just wrote me this note:

The day after I went on a date with a fella, I received an email that said, and I quote, "In the immortal words of Chuck Woolery, I have to say that I just did not feel that we had a 'love connection.' I wish you the best of luck though in your dating endeavors.'

Props to that dude for making me giggle even as he blew me off.

uh and oh

should have figured out a little how this blogging biz works before i got into it, because it's my wish (or one of them anyhoo) that folks read each others' posts without my okaying them like some kind of big sister (which reminds me of frances and how the momma and her grown daughter call each other big sister and little sister), but haven't figured out if that's possible. and if it is how. so click on comments and read them. and until these snafus are fixed, maybe i'll cut and paste as follows:


anonymous wrote

Here's one from someone who I found out went on a first date with someone else TWO nights after he wrote this...

Hi Jane Doe,

I hope you are well. I wanted to let you know that I am not up to going forward with this right now. I realize as I begin dating again that I am not ready - that my last
break up was just too recently and that I am not fully mended. I really enjoyed meeting you and sorry to have misled you by thinking I was somewhere where I wasn't quite yet.

John Blow

12:20 PM PST


Blue said...
Yesterday I went to this sandwich place and asked if they had any sandwiches without cheese, because I'm lactose-intolerant. The guy said they all had cheese on them. I asked if he couldn't take the cheese off one, and he didn't even answer me. What a jerk!

I'm sure your date was trying in his own pretentious and misguided way to be considerate. You should fake-stalk him just to freak him out.

12:31 PM PST

a blog is born

i went on a date this week with someone i met online. it was pleasant enough. i had a beer and ate some spaetzel. he told me about his cholesterol and his former girlfriend. on my way home, i wondered if it was worth trying to see him again, give it the college try, see if time results in like. the wondering was in vain. i got an email the next day that floored me in its inanity. it spurred me to start this blog where people can post the ridiculous disses sent their way, whether love-related or job-related or whatevs; the world of stupidity is vast. so, i kick it off with his note, and encourage you to share yours too when and if they come your way:


Hi Jane Doe,
Just wanted to say that I enjoyed my time last evening. But I don't think this will evolve into a meaningful relationship. Time being our most valuable asset in life, I hope you did not feel last evening was a total waste of it.
Sincerely,
John Blow